Hahahahaha :)) Presenting, Lady Gaga of Ateneo! lmao

and LADY GAGA of JFC! hahahaha :))

rollymarcial:

Do you remember Melanie Marquez? The former Miss International who became the monumental comic success that she is today for her glorified grammatical errors?

No? Well let me walk you through this…

I haven’t seen her on National Television for quite a long time already, but her punchlines are real noteworthy, they just sink in my brain for several weeks and I couldn’t help myself from miserably laughing. Here’s a list of some of her unforgettable (read: extraordinary. LITERALLY) hits that struck the entire PI with terrible bellyaches:

………………………………….

“I coudn’t care a damn!”

“What’s your next class before this?”

“Can you repeat that for the 2nd time around once more?”

“Hello, my brother Joey is out of town, would you like to wait?”

“Don’t touch me not!”

“You! you’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!”


“Hello? For a while. Please hang yourself.”

“Why should I have a calling card? I’m not a call girl!”

“That’s why I’m a success, it’s because I don’t middle in other people’s lives.”

“Don’t judge my brother; he’s not a book.”

“I won’t stoop down to my level.”

“Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?”

“Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.”

“Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo! Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.”

“We are lovers, not fighters.”

“Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.”

“I don’t eat meat. I’m not a carnival.”

“Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat.” (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)

“Sumasakit ang migraine ko.”

“Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!”

“Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point.” (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right .).

“Oo nga”, said Melanie,”pero I-English-in ko para maintindihan niya.” Then Melanie looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, she said, “And to you, Mrs Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!”.

“Dont worry little angel, big angel is here”.

“He should be put behind bar”. You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can fool me thrice, but you can never fool me four”.

“Nikki, you’re so galing. You should go to the states. You will sell hotcakes”.

“They should talk behind the scene… (on Kris and Joey)

“Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko… sa mga kwento nya? Di ba kayo na-PERSUAVE ng mga kwento niya? Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae… talaga lang malapit siya sa mga gulo… PRO-ACCIDENT kasi siya eh.”

Boy Abunda: O Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong magmo-Mormon ka na?
Melanie: Ah okay lang ‘yon Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong SEMI-RETARDED.

“A man’s success is a woman’s behind.”

“My husband was born on a silver spoon”

Ate Luds: Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?
Melanie: Alam mo Ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone, you really have to istep your foot…ah, forward!

“It’s not my problem anymore. It’s their problem anymore.”

Melanie Marquez was accosted by a certain guy from a certain TV network. He shouted, “Hey BITCH,” upon which Melanie turned around and retorted, “Don’t you ever, ever call me…hey!”

“I keep my crown in the voltage.”

“Well, I want to spend my holidays with my family most probably out of place. “

While in Morning Girls with Kris Aquino and Korina Sanchez, promoting her movie with starlet Aleck Bovick: “Please watch HIRAM starring Aleck Baldwin and myself. It’s DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara.”

“My answers have been prayered.” (After giving birth, and an interview on The Buzz )

“Hello…Huwag kang tumahol sa sarili mong bakuran noh! You know, huwag kang tumahol like dogs.” (On ex-flame Lito Lapid, in response to being misunderstood)
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MELANIE MARQUEZ IS THA BOMB!!!